deviantART

 
About Me Premium Member Wise Ass EmanaiaFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
7 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 284 Deviations
16,460 Comments
44,873 Pageviews

Favourites


Flash Player 8 is required to view SitBack. Get the latest version of Flash Player.

I'll Find a Way Out

Watchers

Deprived

Sat Dec 20, 2008, 9:28 AM







- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

.:Yep, Yep, Yep :.
Insomnia is a funny thing. You either have an extremely hard time falling asleep, wake up and can't go back to sleep or just plain can't sleep at all. In any form however, unless in a manic phase, you are left sluggish and depressed during the day. Trying to nap is pointless no matter what time of the day it is. All in all, your days and nights are spent tossing and turning in a somewhat painful state. After awhile you find yourself fearful of even trying to go to sleep at all. You know deep down that no matter what you try, it just ain't happening. Well, not for very long anyway.

Eventually if deprived of sleep indefinitely you begin to settle into somewhat of a delusional state. It may not be much, but you know its there. The feelings swim slowly through your body and up through your head to your brain. Your mind feels vacated and you seem disconnected from your own body. Nothing makes sense and you usually don't make sense to others. Paranoia is ramped. All you want is sleep. Any amount to knock the edge off of what you feel inside.

Anything to make the pain go away is your next step. Drinking hot tea, taking a hot bath or even resorting to sleeping pills, and lots of them. When you (or if you) finally start to feel yourself drift off you are filled with the fear that anything is going to wake you up. The sound of someone coughing, the floors creaking, the TV playing in the next room. The worst is actually HAVING to get up in the middle of the night. With this option you are most always, definitely screwed. You might as well hang it up at that point. Any thought of being able to fall back asleep has now been thrown out.

At some point depression kicks in. This along with your body and mind being thrown off track is almost unbearable. All you want to do is to crawl into the same place that kicked you out: bed. Where else do you turn though? Nothing is interesting, in fact most things that normally interest you, at this point now disgust you. You have no desire for anything, yet want everything. Boredom sets up house with depression and delusions and those are neighbors you just don't want to be renting space in your head.

If you can make it through all of this without losing your mind or killing yourself, you are one of the lucky ones. For others, including myself, it is a ride from hell that can last for days, even weeks before it finally passes. Right now feels like I'm spending an eternity in hell. My own personal hell that no one, not even I myself can fix, correct or pull out of. The only solution is waiting, and here I sit, doing just that.

Much Love




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

. : F e a t u r e s : .












Code and design originally made by =ToxiCanvas
  • Mood: Pain
  • Listening to: Disturbed
  • Reading: The Heroin Diaries
  • Watching: Nada
  • Playing: With my imaginary friends
  • Eating: Eating=Blech
  • Drinking: Well that would just be asking for trouble...

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: My happy place
  • Interests: Digital art, photo manipulations, Poser, music
  • Favourite movie: Who has time for a movie???
  • Favourite band or musician: Too many to fav only one
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative, Anything retro
  • Favourite poet or writer: Arthor Conan Doyle, Paticia Cornwell
  • Favourite style of art: 3D, Manips
  • Shell of choice: Turtle
  • Wallpaper of choice: Something in black leather or leopard skin would be nice
  • Skin of choice: Quite comfortable in my own
  • Favourite game: Life
  • Favourite cartoon character: Marvin the Martian
  • Personal Quote: How many times do I have to tell you I hate drama????
  • Tools of the Trade: Poser 6, Photoshop CS, Unlead Photo Impact, PSP9

Comments


Thanks!! :D

--
' Her şeyden bir şey ve hiçbir şeydir.. :D


My gallery: [link] :peace:
:w00t: :dance: :cake: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :cake: :dance: :w00t:

It's June 8th which means it's your special day. Hoping you have a fantastic birthday, get some nice gifts and generally get to enjoy it lots.

All the best and much love from the birthdays team to you :hug:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: ¢nyssi
Happy Birthday!

--
There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself.
:party: Happy Birthday!!:party:

:iconballoonsplz: :airborne: :iconballoonsplz2:

:iconcakepinkplz:

--
Don't push the red button!!
:bulletpurple::bulletblue::bulletgreen::bulletyellow::bulletred::bulletyellow::bulletgreen::bulletblue::bulletpurple:
:iconflowerplz2: :cake: Happy Super Special Awesome Birthday! :cake: :iconflowerplz2:
:iconweekenddanceplz::iconweekenddanceplz: :iconweekenddanceplz:
:icondweebdanceplz::icondweebdanceplz::icondweebdanceplz:
:iconballoonsplz: ::iconcakechocplz: :iconballoonsplz:

:iconcarameldansenplz::iconcakelickplz: Hope you have a great time :iconcakelickplz::iconcarameldansenplz:

--
Grimmjow and Ichigo Are mine :heart:
╔══╗♫
║██║
║ () College Kids by Relient K ♫
╚══╝

Site Map